It was 113 today; it will be 115 tomorrow and 116 the day after. People often shake their heads and say, "Oh, but it's a dry heat." Yeah? So is an oven - just think, your food warmer is set at 120 degrees. Now comes the time every Phoenician dreams of moving to the north where there are seasons and the summer season temps top out at 100 degrees - and that is HOT. Every summer we dream of moving, every winter we are thankful for the absence of the ice and snow. Nothing beats cruising in your car the day after thanksgiving with the windows down, shorts on and Christmas music blasting. I'm trying to let this luxury distract me from the fact that tomorrow I will wake up to 91 degrees at 5:30 a.m.
The heat is especially noticeable to the husband and I now that we have returned from our vacation in Montana. We cruised into Montana on a rainy Saturday where the temperature topped out at about 60 degrees. For the first half of the week we enjoyed 60s and 70s with rain showers off an on. By the end of the week the temperature rose to a balmy 85 degrees just in time for Boat Float.
What's Boat Float, you ask? Boat Float is the one weekend of the year that puts Big Timber, Montana on the map. Hundreds of miles of river are tackled every year by a horde of drunken sailors during the second weekend of July. I'm pretty sure all 50 states and several different countries are represented as rafts, drifters and hand-crafted boats alike float down the river sounding the universal call of BOOOAAAATTTT FLLOOOAAT! This year I had the pleasure of sailing with some of the finest as three rafts were tethered together creating our own little floating island of fun. We were in want of nothing as our chef prepared bistro style sandwiches with turkey/pesto and ham/tapenade; beer was aplenty and I believe I even saw homemade margaritas!
We pulled off the river after 7 hours and 40 miles to mingle with old friends and taste some home-brewed beer. Sun-kissed and drenched, we stumbled about gaining our "land-legs" and gawking at all the other sailors - most of which are still calling out BOOOAAATTT FLLLOOOOAAATT in desperate attempts to rally the troops - their fallen comrades who aren't answering back can usually be found passed out in the rafts, back of pick-ups or off in a grassy ditch somewhere. It is best to let them rest, because tomorrow is another day of sun, floating and beer.
Only 360 days left until next year's boat float - you stay classy, Montana. I promise we will be up again next year - hopefully having recruited a new batch of boat floaters.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Monday, April 5, 2010
It's not a Diet!!!
Is it me, or does a brown van driving up the street playing creepy "come and get ice cream" music, scream something out of a horror movie, or Richard Bachman's "Regulators"? A brown van cruises my neighborhood every night around 5:30 or 6:00 and occasionally on the weekends. I think it used to carry seafood in its former life, because, as most cars in Phoenix with any appliques, there is faded paint reading: "come and get your crab"on the sliding door. Regardless, I never see kids running to it like in the movies, and I tend to run from it when I hear it creeping up the street behind me while I take my dogs for their evening stroll. Funny enough, tonight as I sit watching my back-to-back episodes of Friends on TBS (dreading my required hour of gym time that is still glaring at me from my to-do list) I now want ice cream.
Good thing I have my sugar-free raspberry Jell-o *gag* to kill my sweet tooth. I don't want to call it dieting but I am going back to my hometown in July, and have this neurosis that is preventing me from eating any more than three balanced meals a day - no snacking. Ugh, it is miserable and I am always staring lovingly at the candy drawer at work, but at least when I eat I can eat more than an ounce of boiled chicken breast and a quarter cup of whole grain rice without the dreaded calorie counting.
Why is it that you always want to look good when you see people you haven't seen in two years, but when you were living there it was no big deal to drink yourself into a stuper and find yourself being rescued by your brother after you passed out on the catering tables in the back room of the local Legion Post? It is okay to get completely obliterated and have public displays of affection (this was never, ever me) with complete strangers at a street dance after a rodeo, participate in wet t-shirt contests (not me either) and throw drunken scenes in bars with your parents' friends present, but heaven forbid you put on five pounds from the last time you were home...two years ago.
While I feel them judging me for becoming fat, I also sense their disapproving stare, especially in the middle of the summer, and then they say, "I thought you were living in Phoenix, where is your nice tan?" I want to scream at them, "Have you ever sat on metal pool furniture after it has been sitting in direct sunlight for 6 hours in 115 degree heat?" Phoenicians that are tan in the summer are tan by other means - none of which include lounging in that heat. All that aside, I am excited to come home - I miss it; it will always be "home" to me, and besides it wouldn't be home if you weren't ready to run screaming from town at the end of the week :)
Good thing I have my sugar-free raspberry Jell-o *gag* to kill my sweet tooth. I don't want to call it dieting but I am going back to my hometown in July, and have this neurosis that is preventing me from eating any more than three balanced meals a day - no snacking. Ugh, it is miserable and I am always staring lovingly at the candy drawer at work, but at least when I eat I can eat more than an ounce of boiled chicken breast and a quarter cup of whole grain rice without the dreaded calorie counting.
Why is it that you always want to look good when you see people you haven't seen in two years, but when you were living there it was no big deal to drink yourself into a stuper and find yourself being rescued by your brother after you passed out on the catering tables in the back room of the local Legion Post? It is okay to get completely obliterated and have public displays of affection (this was never, ever me) with complete strangers at a street dance after a rodeo, participate in wet t-shirt contests (not me either) and throw drunken scenes in bars with your parents' friends present, but heaven forbid you put on five pounds from the last time you were home...two years ago.
While I feel them judging me for becoming fat, I also sense their disapproving stare, especially in the middle of the summer, and then they say, "I thought you were living in Phoenix, where is your nice tan?" I want to scream at them, "Have you ever sat on metal pool furniture after it has been sitting in direct sunlight for 6 hours in 115 degree heat?" Phoenicians that are tan in the summer are tan by other means - none of which include lounging in that heat. All that aside, I am excited to come home - I miss it; it will always be "home" to me, and besides it wouldn't be home if you weren't ready to run screaming from town at the end of the week :)
Thursday, February 18, 2010
I don't want to be that girl, but...
I'm tired. I took entirely too much school too quickly with way too much job. (Bear with me, my rant is almost finished) I would very much enjoy curling up and finishing my Arthur trilogy without that constant nagging feeling that I should be doing something else. The worst part about the whole school ordeal is that nearly 10 years ago I completed AP English in high school, tested out of English 101 in college and graduated with an English degree. Fast forward 10 years and here I sit, taking English 102 because evidently I need to have that class for my new degree. So as I write my paper on an all too predictable dichotomy of "superhuman" woman protagonist versus the bioengineering misogynistic antagonist, I find myself dumbing it down so the professor doesn't catch on to the fact that maybe I might have spent five years perfecting my bullshitting skills and in turn read my papers with the "I know you graduated with an English degree; this is not your best work" eye. (Is that a run-on sentence?) End Rant.
Recently I picked up running again, probably about 5 weeks ago, and I am finding that when done correctly and in moderation running can be a decent stress reliever. The husband and I competed in our first 5k race of the year last weekend; it was a skirt chaser race...and that is not just a clever name. The women racers were granted a 3 minute head start and all were wearing skirts - my husband still raced past me at just about the 2 mile mark. Regardless, I finished and though I won't mention my time strictly because it is still quite embarrassing, it was a good 6 and 8 minutes faster than my last two 5k's. We are thinking we may do the half marathon again in 2011 if the training holds up; we are both in agreement that running 13.1 miles without training is a very silly decision. Our next race is in Tucson in March, we are boarding the dogs and making a weekend out of it, finally visiting Tombstone and the O.K. Corral!
The husband and I have planned a few getaways this summer, with the first one being a trip home. It will be two years in August since I have been back to Montana, and am very much looking forward to it. I have told my family that there are two things I must do before returning to Arizona...camp and float. I think between my father, sister and brother-in-law I have my bases covered...I just wish I weren't wishing it were July already - nobody in their right mind wishes for summer around these parts. We have another wedding in August, this time in Cancun...I know poor me.
Recently I picked up running again, probably about 5 weeks ago, and I am finding that when done correctly and in moderation running can be a decent stress reliever. The husband and I competed in our first 5k race of the year last weekend; it was a skirt chaser race...and that is not just a clever name. The women racers were granted a 3 minute head start and all were wearing skirts - my husband still raced past me at just about the 2 mile mark. Regardless, I finished and though I won't mention my time strictly because it is still quite embarrassing, it was a good 6 and 8 minutes faster than my last two 5k's. We are thinking we may do the half marathon again in 2011 if the training holds up; we are both in agreement that running 13.1 miles without training is a very silly decision. Our next race is in Tucson in March, we are boarding the dogs and making a weekend out of it, finally visiting Tombstone and the O.K. Corral!
The husband and I have planned a few getaways this summer, with the first one being a trip home. It will be two years in August since I have been back to Montana, and am very much looking forward to it. I have told my family that there are two things I must do before returning to Arizona...camp and float. I think between my father, sister and brother-in-law I have my bases covered...I just wish I weren't wishing it were July already - nobody in their right mind wishes for summer around these parts. We have another wedding in August, this time in Cancun...I know poor me.
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