Library Adventures...

So I have decided to put Don Quixote on the shelf for several months and start with something a little less daunting.


I continued to read, but the more I read the more I thought, "Is this going to be reading the same adventure repeated for 987 pages?" I realize this is most likely not the case, but nonetheless I became increasingly annoyed with old Don's madness and decided to return the book to the library. So last night after my monthly trip to the gym, I made my way to the Phoenix Public Library. First, I got lost and yelled at by a lady with 5-inch fingernails. Apparently it is NOT okay to return your books where you checkout...I should have known better.

I finally found the book return and stood in line for a few where I witnessed the best thing I have ever seen in a public library. Now I always think public intoxication is hysterical, it reminds me of the good ol' days, but I think it is 10 times as funny when it happens in a place like a library. Maybe it is just that funny because growing up you are taught that a library is a quiet place and a strict librarian once reprimanded you after a sneezing attack in a library aisle. (dust your damn books old woman, some people are allergic). I digress.

A youngish fellow, I don't want to profile here, but he looked homeless, wandered into the library with an 18-pack of Budweiser under his right arm. "I'm sorry, sir," a library employee said as he stopped him just before the cushy couches in the lobby, "but can I see what is inside your box?"

"Excuse me?" the young man shouted, drawing everybody's attention, "What do you need to see in my box for?"

"I'm sorry, Sir, but you are not allowed to have alcohol in the Library."

At this statement the young man yelled, "These cans are not open! You show me where it says I cannot have closed container alcohol in the library!" The employee asked the young man to follow him over to the desk where he would gladly show him where it said no alcoholic beverages were allowed in the library.

"No!" the young man shouted, "I want you to bring it to me. Here!" (My guess is this had worked someplace before where once they could not find where it was actually written that alcohol was not allowed on the premises they had no choice but to acquiesce) The library employee had security detain the belligerent young man and went to his desk where he pulled out the "rules manual" and read the list of rules regarding food and beverage to the young man. As he read, the young man stood nodding his head, listening to the employee spout off all the things you could not have in the library. Standing by listening, I carefully slipped my opened water bottle into the waistband of my shorts and pulled my t-shirt over the top...these library guys seem tough, I didn't want any shenanigans.

Finally, after the list was cited, the young man calmly nodded his head and said, "Well, I stand corrected." He then calmly left the library. I stood watching, still fearful that I would be asked to leave once they spied my open water bottle; however, no action was taken against me and I was able to successfully return my book.

Feeling a bit dangerous I decided to keep my water bottle hidden in my shorts and made my way to the Children's Fiction section to find the next book on my list. Evidently, books written in 1611 and re-published in 1921 are considered rare books and are not able to be checked out. They do have them on downloadable MP3 files, because evidently children don't need to learn to read now that they have iPods and other such MP3 players. So it looks as if I will be buying the next book on my list from Amazon.